How to Make Social Media Marketing FAIL for You

Everybody loves social media, right? Now is your chance to get in the game and show all those other brands just how things are done in the social sphere when it comes to marketing. Here are a few tips to make sure you get the most for your money, because after all, social media is a cheap add on to any existing campaign, and you probably don’t need to put much thought into it.

Make a Viral Video

This one is EASY. Just make something funny and put it on the YouTubes. Tell a few of your friends about it and they are sure to pass it around. It doesn’t matter if your video does anything for your brand, just so long as it is FUNNY! Can’t think of anything good? NO PROBLEM! Just take something already popular from the Internet and replicate it with your own product! Simple right? If you don’t believe me, just look at this amazing video for Quizno’s that recalls that famous video circulating the net a few months ago. Remember the one that made people sick to watch because of how disgusting it was? Take a cue from Quizno’s and associate your product with something everyone loves: poop.

Set up a Facebook Page

Again, EASY! Everyone has a Facebook page now, so what are you waiting for? Just set one of these up and people will flock to your brand. In no time at all, they’ll be giving you thumbs ups and “likes” left and right. Then the conversation will really get going. Leave it to your fans to tell all their friends about you, and if that doesn’t work, send PLENTY OF MESSAGES to remind them to care about your brand. If fans aren’t flocking to your fan page, they must not realize there is one. Be sure to make two or three more to assure it shows up. Then, watch the sales roll in.

Get a Twitterer

You’ve probably heard about Twitter by now, and everyone else is in on it, so now you should do it, too. Take it from Pizza Hut, you can cut some costs by just hiring an intern to do all your Twittering for you! After all, Twitter isn’t rocket surgery. Why waste the time of your knowledgable and capable senior staff members to be the voice of your company when you can hire someone for peanuts to sit and watch Tweetdeck all day. I mean, no one knows your brand like an intern who you’ve hired based on no qualifications, right? After all, kids know better than anyone how to use this social media stuff, so let them do the dirty work while you get back to the stuff that matters: changing your brand so it appeals to no one.

Use Twitter to Tell Everyone About Your Brand

Ashton Kutcher has over a million followers on Twitter, and he’s NOT EVEN SELLING ANYTHING! Just imagine how much money you can make when you have that many followers for yourself. All it takes is going to where people are talking. Not sure what they’re talking about? Um, hello? There’s a whole list of trending topics that you can exploit right there on the side of the page! Just tag your Tweets with trending hashtags and presto change-o, you’ve gone from only a few followers to thousands. And, if you Tweet out random sales and specials with all of the trending hashtags, you’ll be sure to impress everybody out there. Ask Habitat UK for advice on getting started, they seem to be the experts. If that doesn’t work for you, just make your avatar a PRETTY GIRL and start following as many people as possible. Internet nerds love pretty girls, and will buy anything they are selling. Is someone still not following you after you follow them? They must not have realized you started following them in the first place. Here’s a pro-tip a lot of people don’t want you to know about: Unfollow them and then RE-follow them a day or so later. Keep doing this until they follow you back. **REMEMBER: FOLLOWERS = DOLLARS.**

If you’re confused about how to use social media to help you promote your brand, don’t worry, all it takes is a little common sense. People usually don’t pay much attention to what companies are doing on the Internet, so you’ve got plenty of chances to screw up and just try again. And remember, if people aren’t saying nice things about your company or products, you can always be like Belkin and just pay them to. Another cool thing you can do is start a blog or something. (People still read those, right?) I hope this post has been an informative look at how cheap and easy Social Media Marketing can be, and how it can accelerate your sales with virtually no effort on your behalf. Now go have a Pina Colada down at the pool, you deserve it.

(photo via fireflythegreat on FlickrCC)



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