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An Open Letter to Twitter from The Hashtag

The Hashtag.
By: The Hashtag  |   March 21, 2014  |   View Comments

Dear Twitter,

You know, I thought things were going pretty well. #blessed Ever since 2009, when you started hyperlinking me to all sorts of conversations, we've been like #PBandJ. All of a sudden, I'm hearing you think I'm "arcane," that you're thinking of getting rid of me and @, that you just want to hide me away like your collection of old Hanson posters? #burn What's up with that?

#Nooffense, but I can understand getting rid of @. All he really does is get in the way and cause people to ask, "Wait, do I write '@username' or 'at @username'?" #deadweight But I thought we had something special.

I will admit that I can be a little... much at times. #dontyouhateitwhenpeopleendtweetswith50hashtags #overkill Here's the thing though. Even if you want to, I don't think you can ever get rid of me. #notastalker #FatalAttraction #Iwontbeignored What are TV shows going to have in the bottom corners of their screens to help start conversations? Just some word? #Please. People have been using me to tag on words they couldn't naturally work into conversation for years. What are they supposed to do? Become better writers all of a sudden?

I don't think it's too bold to say that I'm more iconic than your logo. #humblebrag Jimmy Fallon and Justin Timberlake used me #IRL for crying out loud. I'm so iconic, other networks have started using me. I'm not saying I've made a wedding board with Pinterest or anything. I'm #justsaying I have options.

And don't forget, you're not the only one affected by this break-up. What about #ThrowbackThursday, #HumpDay, #selfie, and all the rest? Are you just going to say you're #sorrynotsorry? Think of the children.

Think about our history and our future. We've had quite a few good years, and I think we've got quite a few more left.

#Sincerely,

The Hashtag

 

Read more from Craig Carter: 8 Brands Taking Advantage of #ThrowbackThursday


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